


Turn Back Time

by whoknowswhereitends



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-16
Updated: 2019-12-16
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:41:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21823087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whoknowswhereitends/pseuds/whoknowswhereitends
Summary: Lena and Kara are going through a divorce. Will their daughter be able to pull them out of it? Or is their relationship destined to fail?
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 13
Kudos: 75





	1. Chapter 1

09:26am

Lena stares at the search engine. Her lips are set into a hard line, moisturized, and her smooth fingers are tapping the keypad on the touchscreen laptop.

Despite the fact that her unadulterated focus is on Google, his mind is elsewhere. The white coloured walls assist Lena while she’s daydreaming. They aren’t as bleak as they once were and she’s comfortable with the chosen colour as her thoughts float mindlessly.

Through her peripheral vision, she notices the picture frame before she forces her attention elsewhere.

She can’t think of Kara.

Not right now, not while she’s at work.

Not in the middle of a separation turning divorce.

16:34pm

The CEO always makes sure to leave work early and if it wasn’t for her perfectly sculpted face that’s hard to forget, it would be hard to pinpoint whether or not she was the director of a multi-million-dollar company.

Especially dressed in dark red trousers and a navy-blue jumper her mother had gifted her a long time ago. Especially with the way the bright red apron hangs around her front, the straps loose from the back as she sweeps the counter clean with a wet rag.

The crumbed pieces fall onto her hands as she wipes the area with the pink cloth, and unlike before, she’s not thinking of her. She’s thinking that she should get her priorities set because she’s noticed that along the line of losing her, she’s lost herself.

The kitchen blinds are shut, the bright light blaring through the room and she winces as she blinks, completely forgetting that she was supposed to call somebody in to make it dimmer.

As the lonely figure parades around the room, she empties the little mess into the bin before she washes her hands under the scorching hot water (she says she needs it but really, she wants to feel something) and takes off her apron. It’s when she’s patting her hands dry that the doorbell rings.

Lena smiles. It’s the first time she’s done it all day.

Her lips arch upwards.

She stalks towards the door, the necklace she’s slipped beneath the warm clothing repeatedly hits her collarbone. Her hair isn’t as bad as it usually gets when she has a nap but to make sure, she tries to flatten it with the palm of her hand.

The painted front door is ripped from its hinges and Lena knows she needs to tone down her excitement down, but she can’t help it. It’s been three weeks since she’s seen her.

Within seconds, Lena’s overwhelmed by the view in front of her and she doesn’t know where to look; to Kara or to the tiny girl standing beside her.

“Mummy!” The youngest Luthor exclaims, her eyes lighting up with happiness as she runs towards her mother. She hasn’t seen Lena in a while and video calls don’t do enough justice.

Lena chuckles, her grin growing as she crouches down (totally ignoring the fact that her lower back is killing him) and picks up her child. The CEO doesn’t care if her daughter is four or forty. She’ll always be there for her.

“I missed you, angel,” The dark-haired woman simply replies, her eyes softening as she presses her lips to the younger girl’s forehead. She’s taught her child that showing emotions is okay – that it’s okay to be vulnerable.

The woman flexes her forearm and holds her infant tight, bringing the girl closer as she looks at Kara. Instantaneously, her bottom lip is pulled from view as she shoots her a smile which resembles a pensioner. Lena slightly mulls over what to say.

“Hey, how are you?” She quickly asks.

“I’m lovely, thanks,” Kara acknowledged shortly, her lips turning upwards as she looks at her still married wife. “You?”

“Great,” Lena comments, biting her lip anxiously. “Do you want to come in? I made pasta.” She hesitantly enquires.

Pasta was a dish that Kara and Gwen loved, and Lena doesn’t want to consider the fact that she made food only so Kara would come in and there would finally be another family dinner.

Even if it could possibly be the last.

“Please, mum!” The girl pleads beside Lena and the businesswoman feels a pinch of hope. Maybe Kara wouldn’t give into her but with the help of their shared daughter, maybe...

Kara shakes her head and Lena feels the rejection hit her chest like a stinging bee swarm.

“I’m already going out to dinner with a friend. Maybe next time, baby?” Kara replies unsurely, her eyes flickering over Lena’s figure and their daughters. Kara would like to stay but she has to go to dinner. Rescheduling this late would not do her any good.  
Baby isn’t directed to Lena and she knows it, but she manipulates herself into thinking it is. Her cheeks flare up as she blushes lightly. It’s been too long since...

The young child grumbles under her breath and Lena reprimands her softly. “Hey, don’t say that. Mum said next time, alright?” The little lady manages to mutter an apology as Lena gives Kara a small smile.

Lena doesn’t know what to say, doesn’t know if it’s the wrong or if it’s the right thing to say and she hates herself for it. It never used to be like this. Kara never used to be like this.

Instead of saying anything she’ll regret, Lena tells her daughter to say goodbye to Kara when she realizes that she will be late. As the front door closes, Lena can’t forget how stunning Kara looked tonight and she’s sad that she doesn’t have the opportunity to see the view every day and probably never will again.

“Alright, now that mum’s gone, what do you want to do?” 

“T- “

“No TV just yet.”

20:37pm

Despite the fact that dinner was quiet (aside from Lena asking if there was anything else that Gwen needed) the CEO and her young daughter had a lengthy chat after dinner.

There was so much to talk about – even though the millionaire knew exactly what was being said due to the numerous phone calls they shared and her noting everything down – before the infant would look over, bewildered, asking: ‘how did you know that, mummy?’

They played a few basic board games (which Lena would purposely lose just to see the little smile on her baby’s face when she thought she was winning) and cuddled on the sofa, watching an animated film whilst experimenting with the range of snacks hidden in the house.

Before Lena knows it, it’s bedtime for the mini version of Kara. Gwen, just like Kara, attempts to argue that she isn’t sleepy as she yawns every three seconds. Lena feels her heart weaken as the child weakly fights, reminding her of the early days of the relationship.

If only she could turn back time.

“Off to bed we go,” Lena declares upon noticing the tiny human nodding off on her shoulder.

Placing one hand under her back, the other under her knees, Lena carries her child after slipping her phone into her pocket once she had checked the doors were locked and the CCTV was on.  
Stepping up the stairs cautiously (she didn’t want to bump the poor girl’s head on the landing like she’d accidentally done before) they end up in the bedroom that was recently renovated for the toddler.

The CEO is glad that she has the ability to go to the gym on a daily basis as she holds her daughter on one arm and peels back the duvet covers with her other hand.

She puts Gwen into bed, pulling back the covers on her. Lena leans forward, kissing the small girl’s forehead. Her heart is heavy – she doesn’t want to leave. As she pulls away, lashes fluttering and falling onto her cheek, the realization that Gwen is awake is short lived.

“Hey, love, weren’t you supposed to be sleeping?” Lena enquires, firmly. She can’t be frustrated at the kid. Never could and never can. Just one look and Lena’s as soft as she can ever be.

Her child ignores her, refusing to make eye contact with Lena. She can tell that the girl is nervous about something, she can tell in the way the girl tenses and shrivels under her covers.

“What’s the matter?” Lena questions, wary. She thought by now that her baby would feel comfortable enough with him to say anything she wants. The woman contemplates on what the issue is, wondering to herself if it’s something big or something small.

“Mummy?”

“Yeah?” Lena asks soon after as she takes a seat on the edge of the bed, her thumb brushing away her daughter’s blonde curls.

“Are you still in love with mum?”

Lena delays her response as she stiffens. She’s bewildered. Utterly shocked over what was just said. Her lips part but her throat runs dry. Her eyes catch her daughters, but she darts them away as she thinks. Does she still love Kara?

“Of course, I do, silly. I’ll always love her.” Lena whispers, confessing the truth in the darkness of the room as she sits back. “It can be our little secret, eh?” Trapped in these four walls. Suffocating her dreams. Suffocating her.

Till death do us part.

“Always and forever?” Gwen asks innocently. She’s always been a curious one. Has always been a sly one.

“Yes, love, always.” Lena replies kindly as she stands up from the bedroom. “You’ve got to go to sleep now or no pancakes tomorrow, okay?” She states, sternly. “Love you.” She mumbles under her breath as she notes how her daughter is returning to a sleep-like daze.

As Lena backs away after Gwen promises to stay asleep for the rest of the night, her heart rate spikes when she’s near the threshold, centimeters away from leaving. Her blood runs cold.

“Mum says that she -that she’s in love with- “

Once Lena realizes what her daughter had just said (it takes her about three minutes but who’s counting?) her head whips around; prepared to grill her, only to see she’s fallen asleep.

She forces herself to leave the room – not shutting the door because she knows she’s afraid of the dark – before entering her bedroom, not bothering to pull the covers back as she sits on the edge of the bed. Elbows resting on her knees with her hands folded under her chin. She thinks.

Who could Kara possibly love when she was supposed to love Lena forever?


	2. Part 2

Lena isn’t able to sleep for the rest of the night.

She resorts to tossing and turning, kicking off the covers only to put them on a few minutes later. Despite the fact that the small bedroom window is open, she blames her restless movements on the stuffy atmosphere of the room.

The tears that once trailed down her cheeks stick to her blotchy pink cheeks as she stares above at the dark ceiling. Hands interlocked across her chest, her eyes bleary and sticky as she thinks.

Of the lies. Of the truth. Of Kara.

Wondering why she was never enough for Kara and her daughter. Never good enough for anyone she’d ever befriended.

“Stop it,” she sternly tells herself as she tries to think of anything else except this, but she’s alone and her thoughts will consume her like they usually do. They will ruin her.

Lena ends up tired at quarter to eight in the morning, but she knows she can’t go to sleep. Her eyes flutter in exhaustion but Gwen will be awake soon and she really thinks a fifteen-minute nap isn’t worth it.

She forcefully pushes off the duvet and gets out of bed sluggishly. The material of her pajamas hung lowly; her toned stomach clearly visible before she pulls them up. Despite the fact she hadn’t fallen asleep, Lena still walks into the en suite, brushing her teeth and fixing her hair. By the time she’s out, Gwen was stumbling across the hallway, calling out for her tiredly.

After Lena gets ready, both mother and daughter walk downstairs and into the kitchen.

“Why don’t you go into the living room, love?” Lena offers as she turns her back to her, finding it easy to access the cereal box on the middle shelf.

She’s only placed it there because Gwen used to creep into the kitchen while her mother was upstairs, soundlessly seizing the food and slyly eating it; going against her warnings and comments that they’d be eating dinner soon. Lena would find out she’d sneaked a snack in beforehand because of the remnants colouring her mouth or because she’d never finish her dinner.

A smile graces the young girl’s face, two dimples embedding her cheeks. She turned around to fulfill her mother’s wishes when she pauses. Her brows knit together, and her nose shrivels in puzzlement.

Lena never let her watch TV in the morning, preferring it when they spent their time doing something collectively. She’s not dumb, she knows her mind is elsewhere. Yet she listens.  
“Want some toast, mummy.” She says before exiting.

They’ve both eaten breakfast, their empty plates sitting in front of them. Gwen’s concentration is on the moving images in front of her and Lena’s glad that at this time in the morning, the only suitable cartoon is Mr. Bean. The CEO watches her daughter, teeth biting down on her lower lip.

“Darling,” she utters, voice soft. Gwen ignores her, attention on the animated character. She repeats the term of endearment, which results in no response. “Gwen,” she speaks firmly. Nothing. “3, 2 ...”

“Yes?” The toddler is fast to turn to her mother when she starts counting down.

“Do you want to go to the park?”

Her reply is instant, and the woman rolls her eyes. They spend a couple of hours at home, colouring on her drawing pad – in which she kept calling her mother out: ‘you’re not supposed to use that colour, silly.’- playing with play-doh in preparation for the park.

They spent an hour there, where Lena pushed her on the swings and told her she couldn’t go on the slide with her because ‘it’s for little kids, baby, mummy won’t fit’, although that didn’t stop her from clambering on when Gwen frowned. On their way home, Lena glanced down at the child’s hand who she held. She couldn’t help but chuckle at the bundled blob of joy. Her heart raising as she realised that now was a good time to ask.

“Remember last night when you asked if I love mum?” The CEO asks, holding her breath as Gwen peers up at her prior to nodding, her two ponytails swinging as she bops her head. She’s been waiting all morning to ask her. “Who do you think mum loves?”

“Don’t remember.”

\--- 

As soon as those words left Gwen’s mouth, Lena felt herself deflate as she silently huffed. She was in no way petty but, really Gwen? 

They returned home and made a pizza together before baking a ridiculous number of cupcakes that they then iced and designed together.

Now it was Monday and Kara was meant to come pick up their little girl from her mother – from her office and not her empty house. Kara walked through the doors of the beautifully designed building, her receptionist recognizing Kara as soon as she does. Kara knocks on the office door, but there’s no reply.

Uncertainty consumes Kara and she uses her wild thoughts as an excuse to enter. Lena wouldn’t have a problem with that. Once the heels of her shoes enter the threshold, she can hear the sound of running water from the room connected to Lena’s. Kara assumes Lena’s decided to treat Gwen as well as himself – there’s a distinct smell of fast food.

Rather than informing the two of her entrance, Kara’s eyes dance over the place; to see if anything had changed from the last time she was in the office. As she steps closer to the large panel of windows, she spots a picture frame facing downwards. Her eyes dart away but curiosity catches up with her and she hesitantly picks up the object, only to find a picture of her and Lena on their wedding day.

\- Kara was dressed in a beautiful dress, her eyes on the camera smiling gleefully. Her brows are raised, make up done superbly and the longer she glanced at the picture, Kara is able to remember the exact moment. Lena’s arm had been wrapped around Kara’s waist, her head leaning towards Kara as she pecked her lips. -

\- ‘I’m so fucking lucky.’ –

But was she? Was she really ever? Lena felt like she had won the lottery when she had Kara, but did Kara feel the same.

Kara put down the picture and took a step back. At that moment, her ex-partner and daughter came into view. As soon as she saw Kara’s position and the remorse in her eyes, Lena’s eyes fell on the picture she was intending to put away. Her cheeks heat up in embarrassment and she looks away.

“Look, mum’s here.” Lena informs Gwen, her hand on the back of the small girl’s shoulder as she craftily moves her forward. Gwen’s eyes don’t light up because she doesn’t want to go back to Kara’s place. She wants to stay at home with both of her mothers.

Begrudgingly, she tramples forward, careful not to trip as she grabs her bag from her mother’s desk. Barely holding onto it, she whips her head to see her mother had moved alongside her. She grins in relief. Lena gets down on her knees, her trousers creating a feeling she’s uncomfortable with, but she doesn’t care.

Gwen’s heart softens, her lip trembling as Lena promises her. Her eyes are teary, she usually gets like this when she has to leave Lena, and she can’t help but shiver even with the heavy coat that she’s slid on. Lena holds onto her a few minutes more as Kara watches on, feeling like this could be the last time.

“Gwen,” Kara calls out. Her voice is soft, and the CEO feels goosebumps appear on her arms. Gwen breaks away from Lena and she can’t help but feel like the worst person in the world when she sees a tear fall down her daughter’s face.

“Look a bit happier,” Lena teases her little girl, wiping it away. “I love you, baby.” She utters as she presses her lips against the toddler’s forehead. “We’ll have so much fun next week, promise. We could bake brownies and maybe see Aunty Jess, but you have to be good for mum, okay?”

Excitement fills her eyes and her head moves up and down before she gives her mother another quick hug. As she trots over to Kara, Lena stands up and walks over.

“Lena-“Kara starts, wanting to apologise when she sees the dejected expression on the other woman’s face. Kara, after all this time, hated seeing her so broken. What makes it worse, is that it’s because of her.

“Don’t,” Lena brushes her off before she can start. “I just hope she can love you better than I could.”


End file.
